The REAL College of Social Work – Part Infinity

BASW and SCIE may be planning to merge to form BASWCOSWSCIESWBOFEETOFIIB.

(British Association of Social Workers College of Social Work Social Care Institute of Excellence Social Work College But Only For England Even Though Our First Initial Is British)

Trips off the tongue.

Having a Scottish parent though, makes me feel marginalised by this new college, much though I approve of the name – so in the spirit of yesterday’s fiery post, I’ve decided to set up my own College.

It will be called the College of People  With Social Work Qualifications and Those Who Are Studying Social Work.  CPWSWQATWASSW.

Good thing I grabbed the domain name  quickly and have been sitting on it for two years, biding my time.

My proposals are:-

To create a job for myself so I can move away from front line practice

To create jobs for my friends so they don’t have to actually do anything that involves social work but we can talk infinitely about what’s best for the profession.

To produce an online magazine because print is so last millennium.

To promote links with social work organisations internationally – cough cough, free trips to the Caribbean to ‘investigate’ how services work there, please.

Membership will be open to anyone who wants to join.

To set up a new set of capacibilities that will be expected of all social workers –

– these will include

– being able to type at least 40 wpm

– advocacy skills when working with oppressive  management regimes

–   Being able to work with Housing departments without raising your voice.

– Ensuring chocolate and biscuit supplies are constantly replenished in your place of work

– The importance of washing your own mug not using your colleague’s  special kitten mug because that makes her really angry – especially if you don’t wash it up.

– Not hiding paperwork in drawers to make your desk (if you have one) look tidier.

– Never being more than one hour late for pre-arranged visits.

There will be a consultation period of one week.

Membership will be free today only but after today will rise to £10,000 per annum to pay for my living costs and trips to the Caribbean.  As I don’t believe in paypal and secure transactions are overrated you can just leave your bank details in the comments below and I’ll be in touch.

Special concessionary rate for international members if they live somewhere I want to go on holiday to and can put me up free of charge for at least a week.

Irresistable, I know.

8 thoughts on “The REAL College of Social Work – Part Infinity

  1. That is exactly the sort of post that I like to read after the week I have had.

    The amalgamation of the inspection bodies in Scotland (Care Commission and SWIA) are now being known as TISWAS, or at least that is what I thought they said they were going to call it.

  2. And a happy april’s fools day to you too! Laughed and laughed and laughed. Sign me up.

  3. I’ve only just seen this post. It made me laugh a lot – very clever! But then it made me feel sad … really sad that I didn’t see it yesterday.
    Do others feel this way?
    No matter. I have now set up a self-help group:
    BASWSCIECOSW (I do hope the domain name hasn’t been taken)
    Being April Second, We Simply Can’t Involve Everyone. Calling Others Sad in the Wilderness…

  4. Oh my gosh, I laughed so hard at your proposals – love the online magazine because print is so millennium bit!

    I’m not sure Minnesota is a place high on your list for visits, but you’d have a place to hang your coat at my house for as long as you’d want! 🙂

  5. Thanks for all your responses –

    Carolyn and Nectarine – I am more than happy with any Commonwealth membership programmes – after all, Barbados is in the Commonwealth 🙂

    JaeRan isn’t the largest shopping mall in the States in Minnesota.. I can see a very good reason to visit 🙂

    Whose Shoes – thanks! I am going to join that group!

  6. Why yes, cb, the grand Mall of America (we call it the MegaMall but they get mad) is pretty darn close! 😀

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